Nice Tom … Real Nice

Here's your sandwich, Patti.

Tom writes silly names on the sandwiches that we pack to take to the beach and passes them out when it's time for lunch.  One Saturday when my niece was just learning to read she declared that she was going to hand out the sandwiches.  She carefully read the name on each sandwich and Tom would tell her to whom the sandwich belonged.

"Dotty" was the name Tom wrote on my sandwich that particular day.  I don't know any person named Dotty, but that's a name from Tom's collection of commonly used sandwich names.  Some of the others include: Morty Marino, Pista Trubitt, Morta Kai, My Name is Manly, Mattakeeta, Vincent L. Boone (the yard guy), Peggy (what the yard guy calls me), Mr. Dougherty (a neighbor at the shore), Jody, the name of my HS boyfriend, etc. You get it, nonsense, but it entertains us.

As my niece worked her way through the sandwiches she stumbled on one of the names, which was not surprising considering the kooky names Tom used.

"Meeeesooooo," she stuttered.

Her Mom and I encouraged her to sound it out as Tom screamed, "That's mine. That's mine."

After chastising Tom for his impatience, I told my niece to try again.  She gave it another try uttering, "Meeeesooorny."

"Come on, try again," we all cheered on.

"Meeesooohungy?"

"Oh, I know what it is now."  "Me So Hungry," she declared!

In a flash, Tom was out of his beach chair grabbing for the sandwich.  He sat back in his beach chair, unwrapped the sandwich, and crumpled up the foil.  I leaned over and asked, "Is that what you wrote?" To which he responded, "Just forget it, please!"

When he wasn't looking I recovered the crumpled foil, unwrapped it and read the name he put on his sandwich:  "Me So Horny."

Nice Tom … Real Nice.