Wednesday, May 21, 2014

"I Have a Good Idea for The Blog"

Since starting the blog I've received lots of suggestions for things to blog about, but I don't think I'm clever enough to build a story around some of the ideas provided to me.

For example, the photo below is from my niece in Florida, and it is a funny photo, but beyond sharing the photo of the monkey riding on its owner's car mirror, drinking from a sippy cup, what do I say?

What I really want to know about is the person driving the car and why he has a little monkey dressed like a person traveling with him?  Now, that's a story worth pursuing.  Unfortunately, since this photo was taken at a red light there was no opportunity for my niece to get more details.

Monkey sitting on car mirror.

The photo below was sent to me from my sister.  As you can see, it's a photo of a rodent in the trash.  "Ew, that's gross!"  Now what do I say?

This is a photo of a person's hand that experienced an allergic reaction to a bee sting.  "Ouch!"  I got nothing else.

Allergic reaction to bee sting.

Tom and I saw this sign while on a walk in Orlando earlier this year.  He thought it might be good for the blog, and while the sign's message is definitely intriguing, I for one am not writing any blog post that includes the words "Islamic, God, and Jugular Vein."  Just feels like that would be bad karma.

Actual sign seen in Orlando, FL.

When I was in the Philadelphia airport recently, I saw three nuns dressed in their "habits" in line at a Chick-fil-A.  My first reaction was, "Now that's funny."  I don't know why I thought the sight of three nuns getting chicken nuggets and fries was funny, but I did.  I know nuns eat and I assume they eat fast food too.

I could have created a blog around the nuns at the Chick-fil-A, but I was afraid to take their photo because it felt sacrilegious to use those devout women for a laugh.  I was also afraid I might get struck down by the Big Guy.  I really needed the photo because you really needed to see the visual of the nuns standing in line next to the full-sized cutout cow advertising, "Eat Mor Chikin."

Missing: Three Nuns

I guess if I was really immature and wanted to write something very juvenile I could have worked with the photo of the German bratwurst below, but just the knowledge that a person in my family ordered an entree title "Assorted German Bratwurst" was not funny to me.  And, you all know who ordered that entree.

Assorted German Bratwurst

I've also had many suggestions to write a blog post about the infamous "Vince the Yard Guy."  Now that is a good suggestion, and in fact, Vince has enough material to support a blog dedicated to him.

Here are some highlights from the past 20 years:
  • He once gave me a used Mother's Day card.
  • One Friday night he barged into our kitchen declaring, "I just saw a cougar!"  Then he turned to Connor, or Kyle as Vince likes to call him, and said, "You know I would not lie to you Kyle."  We're not sure why he singled out Connor, but after we calmed him down and he left we all were worried he might be on really bad drugs.  Turns out, "Cougar on the Loose" was the top story on that evening's news.
  • While we don't have definitive proof, we think there was a time period when Vince used the boys' tree house as a place to sleep.  One morning I saw his bike on the tree house landing and a shirt hanging over the railing.  I said to Vince, "You know you can't sleep there."  To which he responded, "I know Ms. Peggy."
  • Over the years I have loaned Vince lots of money that he has always paid back by "working it off."  I have purchased a plane ticket so he could go to his father's funeral, a bus ticket for his sister's funeral, a train ticket and contribution for his family reunion, and countless other situations.  
  • He once helped Tom clean the garage and Tom gave him several boxes of opened liquor bottles.  I did not know that Vince stored the bottles in the boys' tree house until I kept seeing him at all times of the day and night sneaking in the tree house for "a little something."
  • I always give him leftovers, or soup when I make it, and one time he brought me a bowl of deliciousness that included Ramen noodles and Spam.  He thought I would like it.
  • Vince usually shows up on Xmas Eve to tidy up the yard for us.  That is really code for, "I need money for the holidays."  One Xmas Eve, after he finished his work, he asked Tom to give him a ride to his brother's house.  On the way, he asked to stop at the Dollar Store where Tom waited in the car while Vince shopped and then it was on to his brother's house in Delaware.  The trip took Tom so long that he missed Xmas Eve mass.
  • A few summers ago Taylor went to London to study abroad and Vince asked me if he took the bus there, from Philadelphia.
  • I've spent countless hours on the phone with the VA Hospital, scheduling and canceling appointments for Vince, and giving him carfare to get to said appointments.
  • There was the famous "smoking pot" episode in the boys' tree house when I pretended I didn't see him smoking pot, but we both knew that I did.  It's interesting as I write these recollections that a lot of Vince-activity takes place in the boys' tree house.  Apparently, that was a good investment 16+ years ago.
  • When I came home from Vermont this week, Vince gave me a kiss to congratulate me on Taylor's college graduation.  He told me, "I remember when he was just a little blond haired boy playing in his (my) tree house."
I don't really know what the deal is with Vince.  He tends to come around on his own schedule when he needs money, but when he does show up he is a hard worker, he's honest in all of his dealings with us, and he gives me a lot of good laughs.  People think we're crazy to put up with his shenanigans, but he's a good person who got off the track somewhere along the line, but not completely.  We love him.

If any of you come up with any good blog ideas send them along, as you can probably tell I'm very open to suggestions.

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