How to Avoid a Speeding Ticket

I don't like to drive with my husband.  I don't think he's a bad driver, I just find him to be aggressive and sometimes he drives too fast.  That actually sounds like bad driving, right?

A few years ago we were driving to the shore on the Atlantic City Expressway.  No leisurely ride for us on that hot summer night with the start of the Phillies game looming.  You see much of our schedule revolves around game times for our local college and professional teams.  Tom doesn't realize I've made this connection.

On this particular night, I felt I was on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, this is how my sister describes her husband's driving, and was concerned for the safety of our family.  Tom was definitely speeding, and after warning him several times to slow down I put my book aside to monitor the speedometer.

In fairness to Tom, I read my eBook in the car and when I periodically lift up my head to see where we are I am sometimes startled by our proximity to a nearby car, but as Tom will point out to me, if I had been observing where we were going all along I would recognize that he had things under control.  That was not the case here.

As sometimes happens with these marital exchanges, Tom dug his heels in, or in this case the accelerator, and whined, "I'm going the same speed as everybody else."  Hmmmmm, so why are we all alone in the left hand lane with nobody in front of us, to the right of us, or behind us?  Much to my delight, a State Trooper spotted Tom and jumped on the highway with his lights flashing.

I was so mad at Tom that when the State Trooper came up to the window and asked Tom if he knew how fast he was going, I leaned over and screamed, "Yes, he knows how fast he was going because I've been telling him to slow down for the last 25 miles.  He's driving like an ass because he wants to get to the shore in time for the first pitch, so please give him a ticket.  Go ahead, give him the biggest ticket you can!"

The State Trooper did not say a word to me and calmly asked Tom for his paperwork.  He walked back to his car and checked out Tom's license and registration and when he reappeared at Tom's window he said, "Tom, you need to slow down.  I'm not going to give you a ticket this time because you clearly have your hands full with her."

Score:  Tom - 1.  Patti - 0.

That's How to Avoid a Speeding Ticket.