Happy 30th Anniversary, Tom.

The new "Mr. and Mrs. Gregory."

Today I am married 30 years.

30 consecutive years to the same person.

It's not easy to be married.  Anybody who is married knows this to be true.

The spouse is always the prime suspect when their spouse goes missing, or turns up dead.  That should tell you everything you need to know about marriage.

Marriage is hard work, but I think it's worth the effort.

I'm a little nervous about writing this post because I feel like if I tell you some of the reasons why I'm still happy I married my husband I'll jinx myself, and next week I'll find out he has a second family.  You know that's the way it always goes.

Oh well, I'll take the risk.

I feel fortunate to still be in love with the person I married.  Why?

He makes the coffee every morning and brings it to me in bed.  This is a big one.

He's funny and fun.  We still enjoy each other's company and have lots of laughs together.  Usually at his expense.

He's a wonderful dad.  I don't think the boys truly understand how good their father is to them.  Lucky for them, it's all they know.

He's easy.  Tom goes along with most things and I'm grateful I don't have to waste a lot of energy convincing him to see things my way.  Well, he is smart.

He cares about my happiness.  This can be challenging because what makes me happy changes daily.  I'm a little fickle.

He's a hard worker.  I often joke that the secret to our long marriage is "direct deposit."  Direct deposit of his pay check.  Sadly, you cannot live on love despite your best efforts.

When you marry when you are youngsters, like us, you grow together.  That's what we've done.  We've struggled and we've prospered, but all the while we've been a team.

Now before you turn green with envy let me assure you it's not been all sunshine and roses.  There are plenty of things that bug me about my husband and he can probably come up with 1 or 2 things about me that bug him, but overall the good far outweighs any bad.

I hope I have at least 30 more years with Tom, and a future filled with good health, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, beaches, martinis, beers, and dogs.

Happy Anniversary, Tom.

The Big Reveal

It's a Boy!

I have two nieces, both of whom are expecting babies, who staged "reveal" events to let people know the gender of their unborn babies.

One niece used pink and blue balloons for the big announcement, and the other had a cake that when sliced revealed blue icing to announce, "It's a Boy!"

I love to make everything special and to celebrate, so I think this new trend is fun.  However, I can't help thinking about my mom's generation and how they acknowledged and announced their pregnancies.

I don't think "reveal" parties were a thing.

It was more like, "Jesus Christ, I think I'm pregnant."

"What?  How did that happen?"

"You know.  The standard way."

"What are we going to do with another baby?"

"I dont' know.  We can't afford or cope with the ones we already have."

A little different don't you think?

And, there was no discussion about stopping drinking or smoking.  Holy Cow.  How is it that we all ended up pretty normal?

Our mothers could not stage "reveal" parties because they were too busy whipping up martinis and driving to 7-11 to buy cigarettes.

You are Missing Out and You Are Missed

70th Birthday Celebration in Bermuda.

Last night, I was recording all of Connor's school and soccer commitments in my calendar book.  Yes, my paper calendar book.  No online schedule for me.

In the "September 18" square, I wrote the number “7” and circled it.

Seven is the number of years my mother has not been with us.  Some days it feels like yesterday she left us, and other days it feels like she's been gone forever.

When people pass away, we typically focus on the loved ones left behind, but as my mom’s anniversary approaches I’ve been thinking about all that she has left behind and has missed.

She has missed Taylor’s high school and college graduations, his move to another state, and the start of his first real job.  And, she never knew that Taylor fell in love with the theatre, became a talented playwright, and learned to play the guitar.

She has missed Connor’s graduations from lower and middle school, and she never knew about his obsession with soccer and what a diligent student he would become.

She never got to meet Charlie Brown and Bella.  The reality is that there would probably not be a Charlie Brown and Bella if Nan were still around.

She never knew that I learned how to cook and that I love it.   Although, she would disapprove of some of my “everything in one pot” meals and that I don’t make a roast beef every Sunday.

She doesn't know that I pay attention to the laundry like she did and I use her beloved Tide.  And, that we converted her bedroom into a laundry room; there could not be a more fitting tribute to Nan. 

She has missed out on reading my blog, which she would only have done if I printed it out and gave it to her.  For those of you who know Nan, you know what she’d say about the blog? “Who has time for that nonsense?”

Those are just some of the things she’s missed out with my family.  With my siblings and their families she has missed the weddings of her grand children, the birth of her first great-grandchild, holy communions, grade school, high school and college graduations, and many birthdays and holidays.

For a person who lived for her family and to celebrate their milestones, she has missed a lot.

Nan, I know you’re not happy to be missing everything, but please know you are missed and that we acknowledge your absence at every gathering and every special occasion.